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Stats on TC in a Nutshell
One of the things that has been interesting about this whole saga has been the lack of awareness, my own included, around testicular cancer and cancers in general. To that end, I've asked my good friend the Stats Monkey to talk a little about the numbers. Just please, do not make eye contact with him. It puts him on edge.
The High Level
Stats Monkey wants you to know about banana cancer
When not editorializing at my typewriter, I live most of my life in trees. As a result I have a high level view of most things. Cancer, my overly evolved friends, is no different. Fun fact: as a male chimpanzee, I also have testicles. Also as a chimpanzee, I, unfortunately, have no earthly idea whether I can get cancer in those testicles, but I can tell you they are round, slightly squishy and fun to play with, housed as they are in a similarly ridiculous skin-like enclosure.
While I realize the primate above referred to me as a Stats Monkey, let me assure you, I am, in fact, a Chimpanzee. I believe he meant to use this as a colloquial term of endearment due to my high functioning when it comes to statistics (specifically, and only statistics). But the hour grows long, and I yearn to retire for my evening banana, so I shall not digress again.
Let us finally speak on my favorite subject: Statistics.
Fun Monkey Fact: Estimates Suggest 260,000 in US with Testis Cancer
That is to say, my dear hairless simian, testicular cancer is not a common type of cancer as only 1 in 265 men will be diagnosed within their lifetime. Here are a few other fun facts about cancer to plague your amygdala in your sleep:
- There are roughly 9,000 new cases of Testicular Cancer per year in the US
- Of these cases, 410 may prove terminal; commonly, this is due to late diagnosis or complications of age
- 55% of overall diagnoses for testicular cancer occur in men aged 15 - 35
- 72% of overall diagnoses for men aged 20 - 44
As the Stats Monkey, let me translate for your Homosapien brains: Testicular Cancer is the cancer of your young. I do not say this to scare you, dear hairless friend. While I do not understand the term "Cancer" generally, I can sense your muscles tense and what little hair you have stand on end when hearing this term. Perhaps we should explore more? Would you like a banana? They are ripe and delicious.
Having the balls to catch it early and Staging
As I understand it, you enjoy puns. While we chimps cannot vocalize them, please know that puns are an average chimpanzee's favorite pastime. Lucky for you, cancer of your testis offers a chance to go -- as you humans might vulgarly put it -- balls deep in puns?
Make it your GOAAAAAL to check yourself once per month
You see, catching your Testicular Cancer early is very important. Catching it early -- by, for example, playing with your testis to check them monthly -- can dramatically affect what is known as the Staging of your cancer.
What is Staging? I am so enthusiastic you asked.
Stage I: The cancer is confined to the testis only (68% of cases)
Stage II: The cancer has spread "regionally" to the neighboring lymph nodes and tissues but not organs (11% of cases)
Stage III: The cancer has spread to "distant" lymph nodes or organs, commonly the liver, lungs, bones and/or brain (21% of cases)
The stages are subdivided to increase diagnostic clarity, a term for which I have no good chimpanzian definition. Since the half-man asked me to talk about the subject of statistics, let us subdivide his particular diagnosis: Stage IIIA.
You see, in later stages of diagnosis, the prognosis may vary based on where the cancer has progressed outside the testis proper, how much it has progressed and measurements of what is known as blood serum tumor markers.
Stage IIIA: Cancer has spread to distant lymph nodes and/or the lungs with moderate elevation to tumor markers (Editor's Note: As the monkey said, this is my diagnosis)
Stage IIIB: Cancer has spread to distant lymph nodes and/or the lungs with at least 1 tumor marker highly elevated
Stage IIIC: Both or One: Cancer has spread to an organ other than the lungs, at least 1 tumor marker is extremely elevated
Your friend, if any human can truly be called friend, was diagnosed with Stage IIIA due to two very small "nodules" found in the lungs during a pre-op CT Scan. I have been assured nodule does not mean edible else I would have attempted to groom them out as we chimps are wont to do. With very low tumor markers to boot, your friend was given a strong prognosis of "Good Risk".
You see there are three risk groups for prognosis of later stage cancers. While we chimps prefer more cheerful terms such as "Your Risk is Bananas", the standing risk groups are simply "Good Risk", "Intermediate Risk" and "Poor Risk". Much like the Starbucks Coffee you enjoy so much, these provide very little clarity outside of very specific circles of humans.
Good Risk is Best Risk
While you might expect to call this "Excellent Risk", Good Risk is the best possible world in later stage diagnosis. Survivability remains high to the tune of 95%. Survivability drops significantly for Poor Risk to 50% - 60%.
In case your large human brain has not "connected the dots", the staging is directly correlated to prognosis/risk. Which is to say:
Evolve your tennis game, human meatsack.
- Stage IIIA: Good Risk - 90%+ Survivability
- Stage IIIB: Intermediate Risk - 70%+ Survivability
- Stage IIIC: Poor Risk - 50%+ Survivability (Editor's Note: Lance Armstrong was diagnosed here, riddled with tumors and was given less than 30%)
It is strange to a Stat Monkey like myself that your prognosis seems to discount the lungs so significantly. Have you evolved beyond breathing? Are your lungs not important any longer? We chimps still find ourselves in the stone age from an evolutionary perspective. Please teach us? Perhaps we could share knowledge of climbing trees to entice you towards enlightening us?
Why This Matters
Okay Stat Monkey, back to your cage and typewriters or whatever the hell you do all day. If only the monkey knew how to graph this post would be much more visually interesting than just pictures of more frickin' monkeys.
Anyway, why is this important? The general takeaway is to reiterate my survival rate is high (95%) and it was caught early, despite the Stage III diagnosis. My tumor markers were never very high and the spread to my lungs was/is minor. There was no detectable presence in my lymph nodes either (distant or regional). Taking all this together, I got lucky catching it in an obvious yet early way.
Cancer is a scary word for everyone and sometimes the statistics support that. Other times, cancer is just a bump in the road and chance to take a step back to evaluate your life and mortality. That's what I've chosen to do with my time. It has provided a reset button for my mind and my health. It's an investment in my future.
It is my hope for this blog and for posts like this, to destigmatize a severe diagnosis like "the Cancerz" and provide more clarity on the disease and the process to cure it.
Next time, as some have requested, I'll hit on more about my daily routine.
